Self love

Sometimes I can't believe that I'm me.

Okay let me explain. 😂

I've always had a secret tendency to be very comfortable in my own skin, comfortable spending time with myself and comfortable even when things get hard. I just like being comfy. A lot.

So it was weird when I started feeling this huge anxiety as a teenager. I struggled with fitting in, couldn't be alone because I felt like something was wrong with me, looking at myself in the mirror felt like watching an alien through a window, and when life threw rocks at me I wanted to vanish off the face of the earth.

I was a freaky mess, which is normal for a teen to be. But I just kept being a mess without really getting anywhere. I was like a little fish stuck in a current forcing them into the wrong direction.

And everything around me seemed to tell me that I was going the right way. That I was being sensible, that I was a good, quiet girl and that I should be fine being sick inside because it made me easy to handle.

See, when I was a kid I was the craziest, messiest, most temperamental child ever. But I was also highly creative, positive and always ready to try again.

That all changed when I decided to not only beat the current, but to BE the current.

If life doesn't seem to go your way, you simply create a new way.

If you're a goldfish unhappy underwater, you learn to fly.

So the reason why me being me strikes so hard some days is because no matter how much I grow, that insecure, broken little teen is still in there, undoubtedly still struggling from time to time.

And it's when she sees me overcome hurdles that time freezes and I stand there amazed, like the teen in front of the mirror. But instead of an alien, there's a young woman who draws fish and makes films and does whatever because heck, SHE'S ME.

No, my life has not been easy. Yes, there's still a lot of hardships ahead. But oh am I grateful for being me and nobody else. 💪💕💕


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