I started a bucket list

This year I decided to only give myself one long term New Year's resolution. And in addition to that, instead of a long list of goals that all go unachieved, make myself a bucket list of things I could tick off once, because I don’t have much patience or resilience to follow through with things.

So far, I’ve ticked off three things:

✔️ Try fish & chips.

Yes, I’ve lived in England for four months. I just don’t really like fried food 😂 And while it was a good experience, I don’t think I’ll buy myself fish & ships ever again.

✔️ Donate to charity.

This is something I actually aspire to do multiple times a year. But I always over-stress it because I’m poor and don’t want to give my money to a charity I’m not 100% sure will actually help those in need. But now that I’ve done it once already this year, I hope it will be less stressful next time!

✔️ Write an article for a magazine.

I was contacted in December and asked to write a piece about mental health for a worldwide church magazine, which was just the most perfect timing! Because I'd been thinking about writing for magazines, but it felt scary. So having someone else contact me first was awesome 🙏 Now edits are done, and it’ll appear on the internet in a month or a few… I never actually asked when, lol.

It’s been an educational year so far!

My one resolution is a grand one. It sounds super intimidating and unachievable to me right now. But I hope it will at least keep me on the right track so I'll be a few steps closer by the end of the year. A video about that will come up on my YouTube tomorrow!

I've also got some bucket list items that I need your help with! More about that later! ❤️

You're in a slump already, aren't you?

I am.

Slumps and funks are very normal to me and I’ve learnt to accept them and not be so hard on myself when they inevitably happen.

For the past three days I’ve survived on only pancakes because I don’t want to go to the grocery store. I’ve been lying in bed or on the little couch in the kitchen and tried to do stuff, but everything has been taking me so long that every evening I’m surprised that it’s already dark but I’ve only read a few pages and written a few pages.

At least I’ve been trying. But it’s just been going horribly slow and I haven’t really been able to do anything. I wouldn’t even know what day it is if wouldn’t have checked that from my laptop.

My days are just mushed together and everything feels like nothing.

But I know that this will pass, like every other slump I’ve ever had.

In fact, I think slumps are super important for my growth and for staying on the right path.

A slump forces you to take a step back, re-evaluate what you spend your time on, and make some changes. I bet that a lot of you are feeling a bit like I am, since the excitement of New Years is starting to wear off by now.

Don’t feel alone in your slump. It’s not the end of the world.

You’re feeling what you’re feeling for a reason, so try to get in touch with your subconscious the best you can and figure out ways to get back on track.

Journaling, watching lighthearted movies, cooking a meal around that one single vegetable you’ve got left in your fridge.

That’s what I’ll be doing today.

How do you treat yourself when you find yourself in a slump?

Photo taken from my kitchen window in my first own apartment in Tampere.
I was in a long, pretty bad slump back then, but I survived that one, too!

Hello, third decade of my life 🥂

The second decade of my life is over, and the third is here. What a weird thing.


My last full year living in Sweden, I cut bangs that I then spent the next two years growing out. AND TWIIILIIIGHT.

Oh and I also participated in a singing contest with a song me and my friend had written and composed together. I could totally not dance and our performance was a bit embarrassing.

None of our friends showed up to support us, which is when I learned that your most valuable fan will always be yourself. And that most times in life, you'll face things all alone, but that doesn't mean that you need to feel lonely. Alone:ness is a power that helped me get through this whole decade!

The contest was still fun. I still sing the song sometimes. It’s a real ear worm.


My family moved to Finland. I was sad because I had a crush on a Swedish boy. But I got new friends, new crushes, and new bullies at my horrible new school, so yay. And my youngest baby sister was born!


2012 was the year the world was supposed to end and we all were supposed to die! All I remember is more strange crushes, video games, bullying and pimples and fangirling and ew, everything other than books and movies was MAJOR EW. 



At 14 years old, I started my first novel in English. It was awful. I still have it, but I haven’t looked at it since then because I keep saving it for a special moment of cringe. I also got guinea piggies!


I left 9th grade and my horrible old school, and got into my dream performing arts high school which I used to call a mix between Hogwarts and High School Musical.  Theatre kids amirite? I also started writing my fantasy book, participated in my first Nanowrimo, and opened this instagram account and got a bunch of writer friends. And we got a kitten!


More crushes, fun times with friends, video games, my emo phase, insecurities, feeling ugly and fat all the time, writing my second novel.

sfx makeup was a big hobby back in 2015


My high school did Romeo and Juliet, and I worked on tons of art projects, stopped eating meat gradually, rewrote my fantasy book, directed my first halloween shadow theatre play and was a girls’ camp leader.

vampires never get old for me honestly.
here's me being a 17-year-old vampire.


I graduated high school and got into film school, struggled a lot to make friends and stopped writing for almost half a year because I was so stressed.

first time in London! 2017

graduation candy


I made some friends and partied like an animal. Then I moved into my own apartment and dyed my hair red and it was the best thing ever. I got into running and exercising and was super fit and it was great. I also wrote another draft on my book and wrote songs and painted and did a bunch of other creative things.

And I went traveling a bunch (Estonia, Sweden, Denmark, Norway), including my first ever trip to Stockholm alone!

I think 2018 is the most productive year I’ve ever had. But then I got super burnt out and depressed at the end of it...


I got help for my depression, and it's a long process that is still going on.

Yet despite it all, in February I published ARN as a serial novel and then took it off the internet because of said depression lol.

During one of my weird "Yay I'm feeling better now and not as depressed!" phases I cut my bangs again with kitchen scissors and  have been growing it out ever since that fateful night… sigh. But I traveled a lot and moved to England! And now my hair is black somehow, so that’s also new!

summer 2019. two months of making friends, growing as a human and finding hope in the darkness of my brain.
It’s been a strange year and a strange decade. And I’m super glad I’ve been keeping a semi-regular journal since 2010 so that not all of those hundreds or thousands of weird adventures, awkward mishaps and beautiful coincidences have been completely lost because of my chaotic forgetfulness.

I was a child when this decade started, and I feel like I've grown more or less into an adult by now.

21 years old. Still can't believe it despite spending the past twelve months trying to get accustomed to that thought.

I have many hopes for the next ten years. I look forward to finding my soulmate, getting a publishing deal, self-publishing some stories, releasing an album, swimming with whales, buying a house and adopting some rabbits and a husky.

2020’s here I come!