Hello, third decade of my life 🥂

The second decade of my life is over, and the third is here. What a weird thing.

2010 

My last full year living in Sweden, I cut bangs that I then spent the next two years growing out. AND TWIIILIIIGHT.

Oh and I also participated in a singing contest with a song me and my friend had written and composed together. I could totally not dance and our performance was a bit embarrassing.

None of our friends showed up to support us, which is when I learned that your most valuable fan will always be yourself. And that most times in life, you'll face things all alone, but that doesn't mean that you need to feel lonely. Alone:ness is a power that helped me get through this whole decade!

The contest was still fun. I still sing the song sometimes. It’s a real ear worm.

2011 

My family moved to Finland. I was sad because I had a crush on a Swedish boy. But I got new friends, new crushes, and new bullies at my horrible new school, so yay. And my youngest baby sister was born!

2012 

2012 was the year the world was supposed to end and we all were supposed to die! All I remember is more strange crushes, video games, bullying and pimples and fangirling and ew, everything other than books and movies was MAJOR EW. 

AND HUNGER GAAMEEESS.

2013 

At 14 years old, I started my first novel in English. It was awful. I still have it, but I haven’t looked at it since then because I keep saving it for a special moment of cringe. I also got guinea piggies!

2014 

I left 9th grade and my horrible old school, and got into my dream performing arts high school which I used to call a mix between Hogwarts and High School Musical.  Theatre kids amirite? I also started writing my fantasy book, participated in my first Nanowrimo, and opened this instagram account and got a bunch of writer friends. And we got a kitten!

2015 

More crushes, fun times with friends, video games, my emo phase, insecurities, feeling ugly and fat all the time, writing my second novel.

sfx makeup was a big hobby back in 2015

2016 

My high school did Romeo and Juliet, and I worked on tons of art projects, stopped eating meat gradually, rewrote my fantasy book, directed my first halloween shadow theatre play and was a girls’ camp leader.

vampires never get old for me honestly.
here's me being a 17-year-old vampire.

2017 

I graduated high school and got into film school, struggled a lot to make friends and stopped writing for almost half a year because I was so stressed.

first time in London! 2017

graduation candy

2018 

I made some friends and partied like an animal. Then I moved into my own apartment and dyed my hair red and it was the best thing ever. I got into running and exercising and was super fit and it was great. I also wrote another draft on my book and wrote songs and painted and did a bunch of other creative things.

And I went traveling a bunch (Estonia, Sweden, Denmark, Norway), including my first ever trip to Stockholm alone!

I think 2018 is the most productive year I’ve ever had. But then I got super burnt out and depressed at the end of it...

2019 

I got help for my depression, and it's a long process that is still going on.

Yet despite it all, in February I published ARN as a serial novel and then took it off the internet because of said depression lol.

During one of my weird "Yay I'm feeling better now and not as depressed!" phases I cut my bangs again with kitchen scissors and  have been growing it out ever since that fateful night… sigh. But I traveled a lot and moved to England! And now my hair is black somehow, so that’s also new!

summer 2019. two months of making friends, growing as a human and finding hope in the darkness of my brain.

It’s been a strange year and a strange decade. And I’m super glad I’ve been keeping a semi-regular journal since 2010 so that not all of those hundreds or thousands of weird adventures, awkward mishaps and beautiful coincidences have been completely lost because of my chaotic forgetfulness.

I was a child when this decade started, and I feel like I've grown more or less into an adult by now.

21 years old. Still can't believe it despite spending the past twelve months trying to get accustomed to that thought.

I have many hopes for the next ten years. I look forward to finding my soulmate, getting a publishing deal, self-publishing some stories, releasing an album, swimming with whales, buying a house and adopting some rabbits and a husky.

2020’s here I come!