Post from my instagram:
"Sleepy little flower princess ♡
I didn't feel motivated at all this morning, but I made myself write anyway because this is what I want. I've been living my dream life these past few weeks. I'm on summer break and am able to do the things I love all day, every day. Writing, drawing, painting, filming random little videos, creating content for my website... It's been amazing and I love my life more than ever before. But the problem is that I haven't done the work to deserve this yet (okay, I did just graduate, but I feel like I haven't done enough). It's fun to chill out in the sun, but I could be working at the same time instead of just laying there in the grass watching youtube. I've realized that I need to do the work and then I can live like this.
Of course I have to also relax and enjoy life, but I can't just do things only when I feel like it, because then I won't be living my life to the fullest. Self love is important, but so is self discipline. I used to be a pro at forcing myself to do stuff, but I guess I've grown too comfortable when school ended.
Today when I wrote even when I didn't want to, I felt so in control. This is my life and I decide what to do with it. I can either be lazy and live with my regrets, or I can get to work and love my life. First it was hard, but then I found myself having so much fun that I couldn't stop.
This is what I want. My story is what makes my life have a purpose. I want to be in control of myself and be independent and happy. I want to get old knowing that I did everything I possibly could for my dreams. The difference between dreams and reality is work. I don't remember who said that, but what matters is that we all understand it. I have always known what I need to do in order to fulfill my dreams, but lately I've gotten a bit lazy.
Remember to know your limits and work as hard as you can. Don't hate yourself for the mistakes you do. Learn and move on. That's what I'll do.
If camp nanowrimo didn't start off that well, make up for it the rest of the month. It's never too late.
We can write our stories. We can build amazing lives and be super happy every day :)"
/Em
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