Never been good at first impressions

I love speaking to people, finding out their deepest desires and darkest secrets, learning word by word to love them and understand everything about the strange worlds inside their brains.

But when it comes to opening my mouth for the first time and making myself look good (because you need to make an impression to be  allowed a deep, meaningful conversation I've learned. sigh), I am miserably horrible.

I always come off either too cold or too excited. Too edgy or too mainstream. Too quiet or too talkative. And I never mean to change so much depending on who I'm talking to, but I can't help it.

I'm complicated. A contradiction walking on two feet. Sometimes one. Sometimes four. Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm walking on no feet at all, but instead floating around like a fluffy little cloud.

So I guess I'm writing this blog to make better sense of myself, so that when I dare to open up more to people and just allow me to be ME, I can formulate my thoughts and opinions a little better.
But to be honest, I don't think I'll ever be able to fully make sense.

That's how I filter the weirdest people into my life--the people who don't need me to make sense in order to love me.

But first and foremost, I need to be one of those cool peeps myself. 🤪🤗

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