But the reward was making a banana chocolate milkshake when I got back home.
I'd like to say that today was a good day. In many ways it was, because I did everything I possibly could to make it that way.
I get scared when I do really well at something (being productive and writing lots), because I immediately start worrying that something has to go wrong soon. And it's really a self-fulfilling prophecy followed by a loop of negative self talk and self doubt that never ends.
But this milkshake was a way for me to show myself that I deserve good things, even on not so good days. Life can be good to me and I can treat myself kindly without worrying that the good feelings are going to end.
I feel really good about writing. Writing is such a blessing. It could be such a source of stress in my life. Writing is freaking hard!! But it's the polar opposite.
I feel so good when I get to type my thoughts out, and finally see myself. Mirrors are overrated. I reflect by watching my words. And today my words told me I needed to give myself a milkshake, for no particular reason.
Just because I'm me.
Ha, you should see me now, self-hating Em from yesterday! Look at me and my magnificent milkshake! Nothing can bring me down! With the power of chocolate and Scrivener, I am invincible!
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