What's a Sunday evening without a little mental breakdown?

What's a Sunday evening without a little mental breakdown..? 😵 I guess the weight of time passing caught up with me today, no matter how fun I've had the past months.

Last fall I had these attacks of anxiety and stress on a weekly basis though, so I know I'll survive. 
Knowing me, I know I'll survive anything. Having spent all 19 years inside my own head, I know just how much pain I can hold inside without anyone noticing and just how many tears I can cry before I just can't handle it anymore.

There's a part of my city that I rarely visit because there's nothing there to see but shattered windows and graffiti-covered ruins of old factory buildings.

It's super cool actually, but not just because it looks edgy. It's also pretty sad (and I like sad things). Tampere was one of the first industrialized cities in Finland, and these factories are the reason why this city even exists today. But now they're just crumbling to the ground and serve no purpose other than a place for kids to play criminals.

Places change. People change. Everything changes so fast these days that we all have trouble keeping up. And hence, more anxiety and depression and stress than ever before.

I have trouble keeping up with myself. Being this curious, crazy adventurous, wild person that I am, I always have to try things and take on new challenges.

And it's all exciting and fun, but I never notice myself burning out until I just mentally can't handle it anymore.

The burden of shyness and feeling trapped has shifted into the polar opposite. Self development is hard as it is, but when you actually change as a human a whole new set of challenges present themselves.

It's strange how things never stay the same. Time is always moving forward. It's always changing us no matter how hard we try to hold onto our little moments.

Then one day we find ourselves being factory ruins.

Or castles. Or skyscrapers.

It's all about what we do with the time and materials we have.

This turned out to be a very different post to what I had anticipated, and I'm sorry that it ends abruptly but I have to sleep now because I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense. Long week... 💤💤

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